An Interesting Life of Service

I was born in Connecticut in 1960 into a family of cooks. I learned about the age-old mélange of passion, righteousness, and food at age 10, when my parents had a terse discussion about cooked pasta. The question at hand --should the cooked pasta be rinsed with cold or warm water? The answer (only divined after a playful draw — write to NY Times food editor Craig Claiborne and ask him to settle it (his snail mail answer – warm, as it allowed the pasta’s gluten to drink up the awaiting sauce). Later, when they divorced, my father got the cherished paella pan, and it was lost forever to his second family of Stouffer’s-lovers.

I entertained a religious life after high school, entered Catholic University but then left after spending more time chasing restaurant jobs than the catechism. Finally, I abandoned his first vocation and entered a formal culinary apprenticeship at age 23. Accepted into the kitchens of Watergate chef Klaus Hellman and DC Michelin chef Yannick Cam, I began his indentured life as an American whipping boy in a world of workaholic European artisans. (I began with 36 classmates and after 3 years, graduated with 2 others, said not with hubris but with pride as a survivor). My graduation exam was a 6 course “box test”, to be prepared for D.C’s top chefs (my Dover sole with braised cucumbers was a standout, but the citrus mousse didn’t hold up and judged a flop).

At age 27, my professional life was suddenly disrupted and distracted by Maureen, 41. Months later, we moved in together, and I began living life through the eyes of an older, wise woman. I became weary of 70-hour workweeks in the kitchen and left to complete my degrees in behavioral science and psychiatric rehabilitation.

Fully cloaked in my new professional identity, I began a new career teaching vocational skills to adults living with mental illness and at 35, piloted a coaching program for executive women living with depression and bipolar illness (recognized as a national innovative project by the American Psychiatric Association). At age 40, I started O’Connor Associates, a DC- based psychiatric care management firm that helped adults with mental illness recover their lives and coached their families to be better healthcare managers and advocates. During this 15-year era, I traveled the country doing psychiatric interventions, delivered high-touch care management to persons around the US, and coached parents on navigating the mental healthcare marketplace for their loved ones.

in 2014, I pivoted to the sister issue for families in this situation - paying for quality healthcare long term and financial planning for their adult dependent child, and this is the my primary focus at this stage of my career. So now I work under two banners, providing two distinct menus of service to families - financial case management under Disability Financial Services and disability care planning under DFS Family Services.

My other accomplishments and publications can be viewed at www.linkedin.com/in/parentnavigator

In 2020, after 30+ magnificent years together, my bride Maureen lost her brief battle with cancer, leaving me to navigate his own life but equipped with all her wisdom and lessons learned together. Today, I cook (a LOT), spoils my cats, play the drums (badly), and spend much time in my beloved North Carolina.